Customer Service - The Newsweek Way

Editor’s Note: I am publishing this same post to all my blogs this week as I feel that it is that important on just how stupid a company can possibly be. Enjoy my frustration:

Imagine the following scenario:

Mom: “Here son, have some more broccoli”

Son: “But mom, I don’t like it.”

Mom: “I will give you even more tomorrow because I know you enjoy it so much.”

Son: “I don’t want any more.”

Mom: “But you really want more.”

This is exactly the type of scenario that has been created over the last couple of weeks with me against Newsweek. Ever since the start of the new digital issue, I have been very disappointed with the new format. Here’s why:

There are 8 different platforms to access Newsweek from. Since I don’t own a Kindle, Nook, iPhone, or Windows 8 computer, I am left with 2 ways to access the magazine. The first way is to use the web browser and view the magazine online. Well, I tried that on the first issue and could not get past the first page ad. To add insult to injury, the small print could not be changed to a larger font. I tried Internet Explorer, Chrome, and Firefox with the same results. I just couldn’t get past the first screen. Given that screen took about 3 minutes to load, I wasn’t going to try to load a different issue to see if it would get any better. Sadly, this approach made my broadband connection look like an old 56k modem connection. And, no other webpages load perfectly so apparently it is something wrong with the Newsweek site.

The other way to get the magazine is to use the Zinio Reader, which I have used in the past. I don’t like this approach because every time I use the program, it wants to download ALL my magazines even though I don’t want to. The size of the magazines are not of small size either as some of them could take up to 100mb per issue. Certainly no compression here and nor economical either. Of course, I decided that this was not the way to go either so I decided to cancel my remaining subscription of 3 months and wanted a different print issue as said on their website.

So I decided to use their email system to request a cancellation. A week went by and I heard nothing at all from them. I then sent out a second request asking again of my alternatives. After a week, I finally got the following response exactly as shown below:

Dear Mr. Brown,

Thank you for your email. We have received an overwhelmingly positive response to the new all-digital Newsweek.

We're sincerely sorry for the wait time, and to make up for any delay in service, we have added two months of free access to your subscription.

In the meanwhile, please try the following help links, which have resolved most of the issues for other subscribers.

Login problems:

Can't login to Newsweek:

http://www.thedailybeast.com/apps-and-mobile-faq.html#login

Don't know my password (or requested new password and didn't get one):

http://www.thedailybeast.com/apps-and-mobile-faq.html#update

Not sure where to read Newsweek? Click for help with your device:

iPad

http://www.thedailybeast.com/apps-and-mobile-faq.html#ipad

Kindle Fire, Fire HD 7", Fire HD 8.9"

http://www.thdailybeast.com/apps-and-mobile-faq.html#kindlefire

Other Kindle

http://www.thedailybeast.com/apps-and-mobilefaq.html#kindle

PC or Mac Computers & Laptops

http://www.thedailybeast.com/apps-and-mobile-faq.html#desktop

Nook

http://www.thedailybeast.com/apps-and-mobile-faq.html#nook

Android Tablets & Phones

http://www.thedailybeast.com/apps-and-mobile-faq.html#android

If you do not want to receive the digital edition, please call us at 1-800-631-1040 to cancel for a refund.

Yours truly,

Newsweek Customer Service

All of the blank spacing above is their doing, not mine. Not only did they not answer me, but also they were giddy over how well they were doing and even extended my subscription by 2 months! How is that for not helping the customer properly? It should be apparent that whoever sent this letter not only didn’t read my letter, but also used a cut-and-paste answer approach to my problem. This is NOT how you do it people!!

You actually read the person’s letter and respond accordingly, not just send out any old canned response just to get rid of the customer. To make matters worse, they want me to CALL and cancel my subscription instead. Anybody who has ever called one of these numbers know that the people who answer the phones are from India and have no real comprehension of the English language whatsoever. I refuse to talk to people who are clueless with what I say given that they are already clueless with what I have written.

Now I have sent out a THIRD request to cancel the subscription and want an email sent back with my alternatives listed. I did that back on Monday, 4 days ago, and have yet to hear back from anybody, not even an acknowledgement that the company received my letter.

Of course, I am writing all this to let everyone know just how stupid a company like Newsweek actually is and how disrespectable they are to their subscribers. I will NEVER renew my subscription with them EVER!! They are just one example of a poor business model. I really wonder if they are really overwhelmed with positive responses or just ashamed to respond to the hundreds of people like me angry at their lousy service model. Web-based magazines will never cut it with me – give me old-fashioned paper anytime.

Shame on Newsweek for their lousy customer service. Let’s all cancel everything from Newsweek and never look back. They deserve to fail once and for all.

Why Lance Armstrong is MORE Like Staples NOW…

Back last August, I wrote that I thought that Lance Armstrong was innocent of the doping scandal in which he was accused of. Boy, who was I ever wrong!

Never would I have thought that Lance would ever come out and admit to doping especially with so much at stake and how much he could possibly lose because of it. Overall, it seems that Lance’s career has completely unraveled to the point where even Australian libraries are calling his autobiography a work of fiction. I seems so bad watch this icon falter to such levels and being a hero and inspiration to so many people.

Now instead of comparing Lance to me, it is easier to compare him with Staples:

• They both are liars. At least Lance admitted to his lies, whereas Staples continues to believe in their lies against me.
• Neither seems to handle the truth easily. I didn’t watch the Oprah interview, but I bet there was some crying involved somewhere. However, Staples continues to lie and now they actually believe their own lies despite written proof that I presented against them that said otherwise.
• Witnesses are key to downfall. Sadly, Lance became the victim of his teammates who were witnesses of his doping scheme. Unfortunately the Maine Human Rights Commission failed to contact my witnesses to prove my case; therefore I lost my case against them. I will have much more to say about this in future posts.

All of this has made me wonder: Is either the Maine Human Rights Commission or Staples on dope like Lance Armstrong? After all, they seem to be running the same path now. Just like Staples, I was fooled into thinking that Lance Armstrong was something he apparently was not. Hopefully, Staples someday will admit to their lies and finally come clean against me. I don’t know what it will take, but maybe someday Staples will be served its justice too.

Walmart Wants to Hire 100,000 Veterans -- But Not Me?

This week it was announced that Walmart wants to hire the 100,000 honorably discharged war vets for jobs when they return home over the next 5 years.  I see a couple of problems with this:

First, where are all these people going to work?  Is Walmart that desperate for help that they will have a need for all these people?  Maybe this is just a good will gesture only and not something they really want or going to do.

Second, what if one person gets rejected by the company?  Most of these people probably don’t have retail skills so what if they don’t pass their tests or just isn’t qualified in general?  Anybody else smell lawsuit here?  Walmart is no stranger to lawsuits and probably would like not to get sued over this.  However, it only takes one person not to get hired to call foul on the company and want to sue them. 

Overall, I think it is ironic that Walmart wants to hire so many unqualified people when I applied over 3 times in the last couple of years and have applied nearly 10 times in the last 15 years.  With over 20 years of retail experience, I feel its ironic that Walmart wants to hire people with no experience when my experience was so great.  But then again, maybe Walmart only wants dumbass employees for their dumbass company.  Oh, well, you never get good help at Walmart anyway, so what’s another 100,000 employees to not to help anybody.

Paul LePage Needs His Bottle

Once again, it is time for Maine Governor Paul LePage to have his feeding bottle.  He has now asked for the resignation of all the people on the Charter School Commission after he did not get all of the approvals that he wanted.  Apparently, he wants to suck out of towns funding that is used for public education and put it into his own agenda driven charter schools.

Does he not get it?  Just because you are losing the game you don't run away crying and take the ball with you.  The governor has yet to figure out how to play nicely with others whether it is with the Democrats or even those in his own party.  If anybody really thinks that he has any chance at all of getting re-elected, those desires should now be dashed completely.

After slashing tens of millions from both the state's healthcare system and education system, it should be apparent that this wild man must be stopped.  Since Democrats are now in control of the state congress, they can slow him down if they pay attention and do their job correctly.

As far as I am concerned, it is time that Paul LePage put in his resignation and let the Democrats fix the problems of the state and let LePage go back to his crappy Marden's Department Stores.  No wonder these stores are garbage because LePage is garbage as well.  Its time that we take out the garbage once and for all!

Looking Back at 2012 and Ahead at 2013

Now that 2012 is behind us, it is time to see how did 2012 predictions fare up. Let’s look and see:

• Sears will try to sell off Kmart, but with no takers the long-on-life support chain will go out of business completely.  Sears will also close half of their named stores as the company struggles to survive. (This didn’t happen no matter how much we really wanted it to happen.)
• After years of declines, both OfficeMax and Office Depot will go completely out of business.  Sadly, Staples buys the remains of both companies including their websites and thus gets scrutinized for such an act. (None of this happened, but the thought of it was scary nonetheless.)
• Staples itself will downsize by about 1/3 therefore closing many low-performing stores and stores that have issues that need to be addressed and cannot be solved.  Ironically, the store that I was previously employed at will be one of the ones that will be closed down by mid 2013 because of too many structural problems and bad management. (Rumors are that many of the stores are being downsized and a handful of stores were closed, but the rest of my prediction is yet to be seen.)
• RadioShack will close about ½ of their locations that are underperformers by year’s end and by 2014 be completely out of business. (The Peabody Massachusetts store, which was store #5000, has closed. This may be an indicator that others may follow given that a milestone store has been closed.)
• Dow Jones will fall to 8000 points by year-end with at least 2 weeks of 1000-point drops. (It ended about 5000 points higher than that prediction.)
• Gold will drop to under $1000/oz. (It closed at $600 higher.)
• Apple will close many of its stores after protestors wreak havoc because of the overpricing of their products.  Apple stocks sink to under $100 by year’s end. (Apple did have highs and lows, but no stores closed and the stock did not drop that low.)
• After months of primaries, no clear winner of the Republicans is found, thus the candidate will be chosen in face-off at the convention.  The winning candidate, however, won’t have a chance against Obama by losing by a large margin. (A candidate was found in Mitt Romney, but it was still a failure by losing the election by a single digit percentage.)
• Maine governor Paul LePage will have an assassination attempt on him, but he will suffer other health problems forcing him out of office for good. (This didn’t happen.)
• A major hurricane will strike Florida causing significant damage in and around the Orlando area, destroying about a quarter of the famed Disneyworld park.  The park will remain open, but sections will not be accessible.  It will be at least 3 years to bring the park back to its original form. (The idea was right, but about 1000 miles off. New Jersey shoreline was killed and will need significant time to recover, if ever to what it was.)
• Books-A-Million exits the New England area by closing all of its locations it had previously taken over from Borders.  It can only be assumed they only had a one-year lease and wasn’t happy with the result. (They are still around with presumably none of their New England stores closing.)
• Barnes and Noble closes about 1/3 of its stores after the cost of buying the remainder of Borders’ assets was too much cost and very little reward. (This didn’t happen.)
• and finally, the world will supposedly end on May 21 of this year.  Ironically this also happens to be my birthday as well; therefore I believe I am the Doomsday character. (Well, the world didn’t end, I don’t believe. However, I may still be the Doomsday character. That one has yet to be proven.)

As you can see from the 13 predictions I made last year, only 1 was partially correct. Maybe the crystal ball was a little cloudy. Let’s see what this year’s crystal ball predicts:

• JCPenney will be out of business by year’s end. The revamped store format just won’t work
• Sears will spin off Kmart to survive on its own. It won’t work and Kmart will inevitably die off.
• Another mass shooting brings the U.S. government to ban all automatic and semi-automatic weapons no matter what the NRA says.
• Chicago murders will top 750 by year’s end.
• Kim Kardashian aborts her baby after public break-up with Kanye West much against her family’s wishes.
• Ali Lohan, Lindsay’s younger sister, will join her older sister for a Playboy layout.
• A major earthquake will strike in Alaska disrupting the oil pipeline in the area. It will be disrupted for at least 4 weeks and gas will go up to at least $4/gallon again.
• Simon Cowell calls Demi Lovato his “new Paula” as he decides to keep her for another season of “X Factor”. Unfortunately, Mario Lopez will be running solo as another Kardashian sees herself out of a job.
• “American Idol” will have a female winner for the first time in a few years. However, the drama between Nicki Minaj and Mariah Carey increases as the weeks go on causing both to storm off the show for at least 2 episodes. Replacement judges are called in to fill in until the two return.
• Beyoncé will have a wardrobe malfunction on the Super Bowl. However, she won’t even realize it happened.
• Nickelodeon cancels Big Time Rush, but the show is picked up by Disney Channel for a fall schedule addition.
• Hilary and Haylie Duff will return for a TV movie in 2013. More than likely to air on ABC Family channel.
• And finally my former want-to-be girlfriend Tanya will return to Maine wanting to get a real relationship going after her stint in California didn’t quite work out for her. Naturally, I greet her potential with open arms and she forgives me for not calling her because I misplaced her phone number.

Once again, I have picked 13 things that the crystal ball predicts. Some may happen or none of them may happen. We will find out in 12 months.

Next week: Maybe the Story will continue or something else will come up…stay tuned…you never know…neither do I.