Bullying - A Story of a Survivor

Please Note: The following special blog post is being posted on all my blogs this week as I feel it is important enough to be heard on all my blogs. By far, this is the most difficult post I have ever done. Thank you.

I am a victim.

There I said it.

I am a victim of bullying.

Not just once, but at least twice during my years of public schooling.

The first time was when I was in kindergarten. I was knocked to the ground by another kid who was about twice my size. He knocked me down in such a way that my face scraped up against the bricks of the school building. I could not have been bleeding more from my face at the time. I must have cried so much as my mother, the principal and teacher cleaned the blood off my face. This was happening as others around gathered with some laughing at me.

It took me a few days to return to school as if I really wanted to return to school in the first place. The principal and teacher told my mother that I had tripped, when I knew in reality that I was pushed to the ground. The problem was that both the principal and teacher were in denial of what really had happened. The reason was that they really didn’t know how to handle a bully.

Unfortunately, when I did return I continued to be bullied by this kid and it continued on for a couple of years until he was finally sent away to juvenile facility and was never heard from ever again. I thought that I could continue my public education without any further incidences.

This just would not be the case. During my senior year in high school, I was bullied again. This time by another kid who apparently was on drugs and seemingly only goal was to make me miserable. He would destroy my personal property and have his ‘friends’ attack me at his will.

For as many times I reported these incidences to the principal and with plenty of witnesses, the principal did absolutely NOTHING!

Is this the way the education system is so supposed to work? In both cases, nothing was done to end the bullying even though it continued for a long time. It got so bad during my senior year, that I actually prayed to God that something bad would happen to him. Eventually it did. He died in a motorcycle accident just after senior year, which he never graduated. A life wasted, but a life saved as well.

It seems that now many school departments are stepping up and actually being more proactive toward bullying. For me, it was too late, but at least I am still alive. I wish I could say the same for all the others who have committed suicide because of their bullying. Certainly the physical scars remain and sometimes the emotional ones return as well.

I am a victim.

There I said it.

I am a victim of cyber bullying.

Over the last year, one of what I thought was one of my high school friends, has become extremely critical of everything I write in these blogs and questioned my beliefs on anything that I discussed. On the website, formspring.me it got so bad that some of the questions that were being asked were being flagged as potentially dangerous to answer. Anybody who followed me on that site last summer witnessed this entire thing happen. Since this whole thing started on Facebook, it came down to having to block this person once and for all. I had no choice as I had to save what sanity I had and protect myself and fellow readers from this idiot. I probably will never unblock him and probably will never be friends with him ever again.

What I believe is so interesting about this is that this somebody who was my friend during most of my early life and suddenly he changed in a way as to be offensive for everything I do. Seriously who really needs a friend like this in the first place? The bad thing about all this is that there really is NO place to turn to when one is cyber bullied especially if the person does not live locally. They are able to get away with it and there seems to be nothing to stop them except blocking them. It seems that this bullying problem has been solved, for now.

Up to this point, help doesn’t come easy as there doesn’t seem to be anyplace to turn when bullying happens. Oh sure, we can say that we can stand up against it, but unless the bully is somehow put down, the trouble will continue.

I am a victim.

There I said it.

I am a victim of workplace bullying.

Call it harassment, but I call it bullying.

During my last 6 months of employment with the hellish lying company Staples, the store manager Shawn Nichols (I am using his name as to embarrass him), harassed me on almost a daily basis.

The biggest harassment came with me using a stool to sit on when there were no customers around. I had a doctor’s note giving me permission to use the stool, but according to Nichols this was not good enough. He harassed me as to when I would stop needing the stool almost constantly and even requested that I get a MONTHLY note from my doctor to use it. I was even given an approximate 20 page form for my doctor to complete regarding my leg problem of which I was still recovering from.

Since I was still under the doctor’s care, he thought that this paperwork was stupid, but filled it out anyway. He even thought that the monthly note was absurd as well.

One night while I was bored, I looked on the system computer regarding employee policies and NOWHERE did I find any of the ‘policies’ that Nichols was trying to implement on me. It was apparent that Nichols only had his radar set on getting rid of me no matter what.

What made this worse was that a couple of employees were witnesses to this and were surprised by the actions of Nichols.

Eventually in a short 6 month time, Nichols was able to fire me because the quality of my work had declined to the point that to him that I was no longer a valued employee. Of course, who could do any quality of work if they were being lied to everyday and harassed at every turn they made?

What made this worse is that since the only human resources that the company offers is the store management themselves. So how can you complain to them about problems that you have with them? The only solution is for Staples to get a REAL human resource department in each of their stores and handle problems appropriately. I think they will be out of business well before anything like that ever happens.

At the time that I made my grievance report to the State of Maine, Staples had produced a different reason for my termination and it kept changing with every bit of paperwork that they submitted to me and to the state. Apparently, Staples has no idea why I got fired either. Follow my Staples blog here for my ongoing story of my employment history with them.

The bullying from Staples has not ended even as it has been 4 years since my employment with them as I am still unemployed. The physical scars on my legs are just reminders of just how bad Staples was and my health is still not great and I still have to sit a lot of the time because my legs still hurt when standing for a long period of time. I wish their bullying would end so I could go on with my life, but as long as they lie about me, it is still bullying.

So let us review everything here:

I am a victim of bullying

I am a victim of cyber bullying.

I am a victim of workplace bullying.

Two of the three have been solved. One bully got put away. One died. One continues on in its quest of my destruction. Two out of three isn’t bad, but isn’t perfect especially when many people especially the young are committing suicide every day because of the bullying they receive. Something needs to be done and we can no longer afford to just look away. Everybody needs to do their part in reporting it because sometimes the victim can’t do it alone. I really wish that I had more support when I really needed it in two of the three scenarios. The only one that nothing could be assisted in was the online one as nobody could step up on that one.

If I have inspired at least one person in what I wrote here, then I feel I served my purpose. If ever I had a purpose that is. I am a survivor not a victim of what could have happened.